Most of the time, people have no clue how to deal with fear, anger, or grief…and sometimes even love or happiness. Dealing with emotions can be very daunting for some people and overwhelming for others. It can paralyze them or say/do things that they don’t mean – or they do mean, but didn’t mean to say/do that way. The thing is…despite of how difficult it may sound to deal with emotions, there is no secret in dealing with them. Emotions are neither bad or good. They just…are. Emotions exist to guide us, to help us make choices, and are the reason we feel alive.
Just image your life without any kind of emotions. There is no anger, sadness, fear, joy, love, or any other emotion to be felt. You wouldn’t feel cared for when someone hugs you and you wouldn’t feel love for you parents, children, or friends. You wouldn’t be angry when there is an injustice or someone do you wrong. If you didn’t feel, you wouldn’t be…human.
3 Steps to Deal with Emotions
Emotions makes us humans beings, help us enjoy life, and guides us through our journey keeping us safe and healthy. Emotions are meant to be acknowledged, expressed, and let go. You – and not your emotions – will be in charge of your life if you follow these three steps.
“Emotions are neither bad or good. They just…are. Emotions exist to guide us, to help us make choices, and are the reason we feel alive. Feeling emotions makes you human.”
1. Acknowledge your emotions. When feeling an emotion, first acknowledge what you are feeling. Is the equivalent of listening. Your emotions need to be heard and you listen to them by acknowledging them. You can either do this by sharing with someone you feel safe with or acknowledging them to yourself. The most important point of this is to be honest with yourself and what you are feeling in that moment. A lot of times, people do not want to acknowledge their emotions because there is shame, guilt, or fear around them – but that is just a perception based on judgment from other people that we accepted as our own. Validate your emotions by acknowledging them in a non-judgemental way.
2. Express your emotions. It is okay to feel anger, shame, fear, worry, joy, and any other emotion you are feeling at any given time. Give yourself permission to feel. Emotions need to be expressed. This is particularly difficult when the emotions come from trauma – such as tragic losses, traumatic experiences, or any kind of abuse. But they still need to be expressed. Do what you must – prepare a space where you feel safe or ask someone for their support – but allow yourself to surrender to the emotion – let it express while doing nothing else. It can get intense and take a lot of energy and courage. Just remember that after, you will feel relief, like the pressure is off. This is a healthier way of dealing with emotions than pushing them down, suppressing and ignoring them. Keep in mind that emotions from past events tend to show up again and again…remember that each time they show up, you are reaching a new level of healing.
3. Let go of your emotions. There is no ‘right’ timeframe for the emotions to dissipate. Is okay to feel emotions for as long as you need. When they are acknowledged and expressed, they go away on their own. There is no need for you to push them one way or another. When you remember something and feel the emotions that comes with it again, acknowledge them, express them, and let them go at their own time.
“Give yourself permission to feel. Emotions need to be expressed.”
Unfortunately, people tend to hold on to the emotions that do not make them feel good. It is when people hold on to their emotions that they linger. There is no good reason to keep your hands full of past emotions. Emotions are meant to be temporary. They come and go on their own.
Emotions are like a compass that can guide and let you know what are the best choices you can make, they motivate you to take action, to communicate clearly and effectively, and to learn more about yourself. When you know how to deal with emotions by acknowledging, expressing, and letting them go, you are free to experience life to its fullest – to feel every single emotion knowing that it is enriching your life by making you feel alive and human.